


livejournal ficlets

by folkinround



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/folkinround/pseuds/folkinround
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 drabbles from an abandoned prompt table, very Ten-centric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor hates himself for having let Rose slip away.

The Doctor hates himself for having let Rose slip away.

He hates the memory of letting her almost be pulled into the void more than anything and feels so, so relieved that she got away, but he still hates the fact that he’s let her go just as much. He doesn’t tell Martha this when telling her about the battle against the Daleks and the Cybermen, but catches her staring at him whenever he’s found himself with that purple coat Rose left behind, and even worse, he catches himself talking to Martha as if she’s Rose, as if Rose had never left and she had never arrived.

He hates himself even more when he realises what he’s doing to her, thinks about taking her home and going away on his own again, like it always should have been, but the selfish part of him won’t let this happen.


	2. i miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He dreams of Rose quite a lot.

He dreams of Rose quite a lot. Dreams he’s talking to her, telling her about all the things he’s been doing, all the adventures, and she’s sitting beside him on the TARDIS, laughing and smiling as he speaks.

He tells her about the Daleks being still alive and evolving into human-Daleks, about meeting William Shakespeare and defeating the Carrionites and Rose grins and asks all the questions he knew she would. He answers them all excitedly, closes his eyes and laughs with her, but when he looks back and makes it to hug her like he always did, she’s gone and he’s alone in the TARDIS with it’s humming noise.

He pats the console fondly and nods, whispering to it, “Yeah, I know. I miss her too.”


	3. i love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't dare say it.

He doesn’t dare say it, not even if he’s alone in the TARDIS, parked in the middle of nowhere.

He feels those words on the tip of his tongue and swallows them back, wishes very hard for them to go away. She’ll be alright, she’s got himself with her. In a form that’s way, _way_ better for her and that loves her just as much as he does.

He knows he’ll break down if he says it, knows he won’t ever be able to stop if he does what he truly wants to. So he leaves her with the other him, doesn’t say it even if he has the second chance to, runs back into the TARDIS with Donna instead and focuses exclusively on solving her problem, now.


	4. i'll forget you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

The Doctor doesn’t even have the time to let himself feel anything after he gets back from Bad Wolf Bay with Donna. He has to take care of her and take her back to her family safely, and he does so.

It’s only when he walks back from the Noble’s house in the rain and lets himself into the TARDIS that he allows himself to sit down, look around and then stare into nothing. He keeps his hands on the TARDIS’ console, holding tightly to it. Rose, Martha, Jack, Mickey, Donna -- he closes his eyes and concentrates very hard on forgetting them all, but instead he sees them all happy, all laughing with each other, and he can’t. He’s the biggest, lamest liar in the universe if he thinks he’ll ever forget any of them.

He doesn’t even try to stop his eyes from filling up with tears, frustratedly hits the TARDIS with his closed fist and then hugs it, pressing his forehead into the console and staying there for a long moment.


End file.
